President Donald Trump and Draining the Swamp

Today we are meeting with Fred who has lived in the swamp for about 75 years and is rather large at about 750 pounds and is about 19 feet long. While he prefers to being left alone he has consented to this rare interview.

Fred it is very nice of you to stop by for this talk today, I was rather surprised when I heard you wanted to meet a member of the press. Usually your species like to stay hidden from view and people so what brings you out today?

“Well, I am very concerned about the new President after all I have heard that he wants to “drain the swamp” and it’s my home and I don’t want it drained. Look I have been here for 75 years and my family has been in this area for about 37 million years. If he drains the swamp where would I go. The only other place where gators live is in China and don’t if you know this but my Chinese cousins are much smaller and speak a funny language. Very strange bunch. From what I hear the President does not like the Chinese either”.

Fred I think you got the story wrong the President didn’t want to drain your swamp, he was using the concept of a swamp as a figure of speech.

“Then what is he talking about – a swamp is a swamp”.

Fred he was talking about the political people in Washington DC the nation’s capital that run the government.

“Now your confusing me even more, don’t forgot we gators have a very small brain and what a you said makes no sense. I didn’t even know there was a swamp in Washington, my swamp atlas doesn’t show any swamps above Georgia. You mean he wants to get rid of Congress.”

You have an atlas?

“Of course it is the Atlas of Swamps of the World – I have the new 6^th edition”.

Fred the DC swamp is not a true swamp it’s a figure of speech meaning like a swamp with people in it not doing their job. No not Congress, the people who run the various federal agencies. The President believed that the former government was not listening to the people and not doing their job. He had a lot of voters convinced of that. What do you think?

“Well, I am very concerned that President Trump is going to drain my actual swamp to drill for oil and not his make believe swamp. Just look at the people he is hiring to be in his government. All very rich people who did not get to be rich by being nice to people or the land. Those kind of people step on people and could care less about rules that get in their way. Did I hear right the other day he stated up two pipelines to move more oil? Do you realize what a pipeline would do to my home? I also understand he has said he is going to remove rules and regulations. That will hurt even more. And that Congress for years now they have done nothing but blame the other side”.

Why do you say that? “Well as I see it a rule or regulation was put in place when someone did something wrong. Just look at the acid levels in my water”.

Ok Fred what does acid levels have to do with regulations?

“OK I said I am not very smart but I do know the acid levels have gone up over the years and it plays havoc on my skin. My dermatologist has confirmed it to me. The reason is very simple as we see an increase in pollution, that is burning fuel, more cars, etc. that pollution sends sulfur into the air, when it rains, and it rains a lot over the swamp, the rain mixes with the sulfur forming sulfuric acid and the level of acid in the swamp goes up. If he removes more regulations I see more pollution and even more acid, not good. Now he has said he is does not believe in global warming. But I do, as you know I like it to be very hot since I am cold blooded. I have noticed the temps getting warmer each year also the water level has been going up. I know in the few years I have had to move my land base three times to higher ground”. “So if he removes regulation, the pollution will increase and that is not good”. “Now about that Congress, instead of getting anything done, they just sit around and blame each other for what the other side is not doing. I don’t understand how people can keep voting in the ones that want to stop everything. I wish I could vote but the voter id laws have ruled me out since I don’t have a real address”.

Fred you have a dermatologist?
“Of course Dr. Croc is great. For years I could not afford him but a few years ago a new insurance came into being and now I see him every six months.”

Insurance?

“Yes it is run by the National Park Service and DNR. But I fear that it may be going away. You see I don’t have steady income and without it I will lose the insurance. I would have to go back to the old barter system. By that I mean I would have to bring the Doc a couple of chickens or a dozen fish for my treatments. It not as easy to catch them at my age”. “Speaking of rangers a few have told me they may be losing their jobs, something about them being moved to the border with Mexico to act as police as the President build a wall to keep Mexicans out. How dumb. So instead of walking across the border they will fly over it or come by boat. They also told me the new President is not going to set aside more land for national parks. I see more and more factories popping up, more pipelines, highways and now we are talking about real draining of my swamp”. “Sad,sad,sad”. “Then without the DNR and Rangers who is going to protect the wildlife, no one, so the hunting will be like in the 1800’s that my grandfather used to talk about, just a war on wildlife so rich women could have nicer purses and shoes”.

“Say I am getting very hungry talking to you, I heard that Big Bird is being thrown off TV, do you know where he is going to be living, he would be a tasty meal, last a few days, I love leftovers. Well talking about this has made me even more hungry so I am going to take off and swim around looking for a wild turkey or some turtles to grab a snack”.

See you later Fred, thank you for the interview, hopefully we can do this again. Next time I will bring some extra chickens.