The Church of Happening Now
Thank goodness The State of Indiana has passed the Religious Freedom Bill. I have formed a new church – the Church of Happening Now, Indiana branch. Many of you may have heard of the New York Branch that was formed by the Reverend Leroy in the early 1970’s.
We in the Indiana Branch hope to build on what the New Yorkers have done with our new church. The state now has protections in place for us so we can move forward. While we are not sure what we are going to do yet. Our two themes are "What you see is what you get", and "The devil made me do it!"
We feel that our themes are very reflective of the State look anyone who can pass laws such as this one has to be within these themes. What else could drive them to pass laws allowing a church to do almost anything?
The church elders are currently working on a new set of Ten Commandments and a Newer than Old Testament. The Commandments Committee has informed me they think they can whittle down the number form 10 to 5. The Bible Committee believes they can get the Newer than Old Testament down to 52 paragraphs so the congregation can just read one paragraph at services each week. This is to reduce the time needed for religious services. In fact we will be able to just e-mail the paragraph to all every Friday. BYW- Friday will be the new holy day of the week, so anyone who has a job requiring them to go to work on Friday will have the day off as no work is allowed on our holy day. The State of Indiana will have to protect our members against any employer who demands of fires anyone for taking Friday off.
If you need more information or want to join our church please e-mail us at: firstname.lastname@example.org you can even send a donation to us to help get off the ground at our PayPal account: email@example.com.
We want to close with a prayer of thanks to Governor Mike Pence with making this possible.